Hello World

i'll admit..this isn't my first blog. i have quite a few. some with maximum two posts, others with not even one. i got discouraged every single time. i guess, somewhere at the back of my mind, i knew that whatever i was posting on line was fake. i've admittedly gone through many different stages up till now. i have tried to be a stereotypical teenager, and that did NOT work out. and because of my failure in that area, i became moody, sometimes aggressive, and 'emo', in, well, EVERYONES' words. i was angry. i hated people. my wardrobe consisted of black, black and black. also black. i listened to metal, and alternative rock.. even screamo. i became lonely. and that just made me angrier. i thought to myself,' what, i have to change MYSELF into everybody else, in order to be accepted and liked? NO WAY.' 

my views and outlooks on life kept changing for the past 3 years. my biggest question - do i  fit and be a nobody, or stand out, as an outcast, and be cast in a black light?

yesterday..i got the answer to my question. the answer is NONE of those two extremes. i realized i have two sides to me, two kinds of personalities, mixed together. its confusing, but at the same makes perfect sense to me. one side of me is all passionate and enthusiastic and full of life, and love for it! its a fresh and happy side to me. added to this are touches of my old grungy, rock and roll side.<3

this is ME. 

 the girl who loves  three days grace, and alternative music, and can only write while listening to music( like right now). 

 the girl who wants to travel ALL by herself, searching for answers, searching for PEACE. who wants to travel and discover and meet and work with new bands, wants to give meaning to other peoples lives from all around the world.

 the girl who loves to make art, play her guitars and make music, stargaze, take photos, wear vintage graphic t shirts, go to the seaside.

my name is Maham Insha, mana, for short, and this is my MY life <3

i have a light side, as well as a dark side. and i love both equally. because they make me who i am, because they give  meaning to my world.

my one piece of advice to you-LET GO. let go of all that holds you back, let go of all the anger, all the pain.

let there be light in your dark side.

xo mana

i was listening to the ballad of mona lisa while writing this post.